Romantic Relationships are not a “one size fits all”, and they are definitely not a two way street. There are days when you feel like you want a breathe of fresh air from your partner and at such times it is very important to guard your thoughts and your actions. Love, dating and marriage is a very important aspect of our life as Africans and people of African ancestry. For hundreds of years, that integral part of the life of melanated people was tampered with and it is time to break generational trauma. Without further ado, here are some non-sexual ways to build intimacy in your love life, in order to preserve black love ❤️
Intimacy is defined as having a close familiarity or friendship; closeness. Intimacy is a very crucial part of romantic relationship. However, intimacy is more often than not confused with sex and the two are not necessarily synonymous; for emphasis the connection you build outside of the bedroom is just as important as the one between the sheets.
Touch
Too often than not, especially in long-term relationships, couples touching each other, is only reserved for sex. This should not be so, because physical touch especially cuddling, releases oxytocin. Oxytocin is the feel-good hormone. Find ways to incorporate non-sexual touch throughout the day between you and your significant other for a beneficial and comforting experience.
Some ways to include touch on a daily basis are through light kisses, hugs, caressing your partner’s cheek, cuddling with one another, tickling the inside of your spouse’s arm, walking with your arms around each other’s waist, sitting close enough so that you are physically touching or holding hands. Nice and soft comforting massages can do the trick. The entire human body has erotic potential. Build intimacy in a relationship by exploring which areas provide pleasurable sensations and which do not.
Crack Each other up
Share memes, comedy videos, hilarious movies with each other. If you see something funny that your partner should see and get a good laugh share it with them. Funny memes are allover the Internet forward some to your partner. Crack each other up with jokes and comic material. Whether you both are together or apart, you can always share jokes and funny things with each other.
Share Music
Everyone loves good music and Music is a great way to connect with someone and build intimacy without sex. Curate weekly playlists for each other or send sensual or romantic songs to one another periodically throughout the day. This simple exchange will deepen your connection and leave you feeling warm and fuzzy. Additionally, you can write or sing them lines from their favorite songs.
Go on Vacations
Without necessarily breaking the bank, find out suitable places for the both of you to unwind. Vacations allow for couples to unplug and be present. Vacationing together creates a far more relaxing and enjoyable experience. It allows a couple to reconnect and remember why you fell for each other in the first place. Whether it’s a mini-vacation, road trip or romantic getaway spending time alone together is a great way to increase the intimacy in a relationship. And even during this time, you can plan a “staycation”; and transform your place into your bucket list dream vacation spot–get creative.
Explore New Interests
Sharing common new interests (beyond the kids, house and pets) can create new levels of intimacy. If it’s been years since the two of you did anything fun together, it’s definitely time to develop new interests as a couple. Developing common interests and hobbies can decrease conflict in relationships and create more cohesiveness, fine tuning intimacy.
According to Ashley of Blacklove, If you both are athletic and competitive try exploring things sports-related such as; tennis, golf, skiing or biking. If you are more of the intellectual types, things like taking a class together; joining a couples-only book club or signing up for a series of lectures, concerts or plays may be of more interest. If you’re an artsy, creative couple, activities such as taking a painting or cooking class together could be fun, think of the movie Ghost and the pottery class as inspiration. The benefits of creating and exploring common interests go beyond the immediate pleasure of the bedroom; the new interests will stimulate your brain and provide numerous new opportunities for conversation.
Above all, be patient with one another, listen more, be mind and practice mindfulness towards your partner’s needs.
