A relationship with the right one can be the best thing that has ever happened to you or it can be a vacation in hell until you decide to hop out of it.
Love is a beautiful thing. Even though it is so cherished, Love is not enough to make a successful marriage yet a marriage without love may not last. Strong relationships are birthed when love is an important ingredient. Attraction is important. Kindness is important. Friendship is important also. Find out what you need in a marriage to make you committed enough to put in everything you have to make it work.
Love is a beautiful thing and everyone wants it.
Statistics on divorce
According to statistics, more than 50 percent of all marriages in the United States end in divorce or separation. The statistics are the same irrespective of religion. It is safe to say that whom you serve makes no difference in divorce statistics.
Researchers say that about 41 percent of all first marriages end in divorce.
Therefore, we are looking at 50 percent of first marriages ending in divorce, 60 percent of second marriages ending in divorce, and 73 percent of third marriages ending in divorce.
Love with everything you have. Get the other ingredients that are needed in a marriage and add them to love.
Most partners blamed their partners and not themselves for the divorce. It takes a lack of love to blame another person for a problem and take no blame for yourself.
If you are observant, you will notice that the right relationship causes a woman to blossom while the wrong one will make her shrink. The right relationship gives a man the stability that he needs and the wrong one sucks all the peace out of a room.
Ever heard the phrase, “women are like flowers”. This is sometimes true. There are no phrases for men, but many men will tell you how much they value a peaceful home, and the stability attached to it.
What can be the antidote to divorce?
The antidote to divorce is staying married.
To be happily married it is important to marry right. To ensure that we marry right, it is wise to date intelligently.
This article shares some tips that will help guide you in putting the work into getting the right relationship.
Many wise men and women who have been married long have said that the secret of having a happy marriage is being the right partner and being willing to marry someone that you want to serve or do good towards for all of your life.
The tips below are a great help.
When you are in a relationship, some of the ingredients you should invest in that relationship are;
#1. Think before you react
React after much thought. When one talks or acts carelessly in a relationship, it will damage the relationship with the other person. Be considerate of your partner at all times. Be thoughtful about your words and actions and most of the work in the relationship is done if you are the right person.
When you love someone, making a sacrifice for him or her will be easy as ABC. One key ingredient in a relationship is having someone who loves you enough to make sacrifices for you and be the covering or the one who has ‘your back‘ that you need.
#2. Find Your Balance
Be temperate in all things. Respect the privacy of your partner. Do not cross their boundaries. Teach them how to love you and treat you right. Be self-controlled at all times.
Take the commitment of living in one space with one person seriously. Choosing to love that person in the space where you both dwell in. Carry out this strategy with a person who is already in love with you. Have a mutual commitment to love one another.
Marrying a partner who is committed to you begins with dating a partner who is committed to your happiness and success in life.
#3. Have weekly date nights
Distance makes the heart grow fonder.
Having a partner who is fond of you is amazing. When you have been dating long enough, you know that instead of celebrating distance, you find a way to spend time together weekly that is an investment in the growth of your relationship.
The time you spend together weekly is the time you use in bonding with your partner. This helps the formation of oneness that a married couple needs to stay together.
Do not compromise on having weekly date nights. This is a mechanism that you put in place to help you build a successful relationship that is based on integrity, trust, mutual respect, good communication, laughter, and other great ingredients.
#4. Have a show for you as a couple
Pick a show that you watch together as a couple.
If one person is busy, the other person should record it and keep it for when the other party returns home. You could watch “Do you want to be a millionaire?” or a sitcom or game show.
Make it your couple show, talk about it and share time together doing it. Bond over this show. It is something special you both choose together.
100 percent of a successful relationship is communication. If you talk with your spouse daily honestly, your relationship will be failure-proof.
If you pray for your spouse daily, your love will grow. I do not mean fear prayers, I mean, prayers motivated out of love. Love grows because of the investments (not necessarily money) being put in daily.
In the context of relationships, communication is a tool that helps you explain your experience or feelings to another person and your needs.
There is a balance where your partner also communicates to you how they feel and their needs too. Honest communication helps a man and woman in a relationship manage expectations.
#6. Talk to your partner
Talk to your partner. Speak your heart. Share your time and your life with your partner. A relationship is an investment and the amount of investment you make will determine the kind of relationship you will have. Know what to expect. Make great plans and execute them in a bid to build the kind of relationship that you want.
Some people are not yet great at saying, ‘I love you.’ If you are one of those people, keep showing how much you love so that when you say it, your partner already knows.
Speak your heart to your partner. Be authentic about it. There is nothing like love, everyone wants it. When you get it, communicate. Love is worth investing in. A life consisting of two people that is in sync, with a unified dream, vision & goals is worth investing in.
#7. Speak each other’s love language
There are many different ways that people want to be loved. Some people want to cuddle, while some want gifts, or to do something special together. Everyone wants different things, and values different things.
Do you know that when you love a person the way they want to be loved you are speaking their language?
According to Dr. Gary Chapman, there are five different kinds of love languages:
- Words of affirmation
- Acts of service
- Receiving gifts
- Quality time
- Physical touch
Smart men find out the love language of their ‘woman’ and speak it. Smart women find out the love language of their ‘man’ and speak it like a boss. Find out the love language of your significant other and start speaking it daily. It is the art of learning to love another person the way they want to be loved.
#8. Honor your life and goals
It is important for you to have a life of your own. Chase your dreams. Work it. What were you born to do? What can you do daily to fulfill the part of you that wants to do something significant in life?
If you are rich enough to not work, you can have a dream of the kind of charity organization you want to work on. Chase your dream.
Start that business. Start that charity organization. Donate to that orphanage. Do something for someone who can never repay you.
If you have a vision of something that you want to do in your life, go after it. There is nothing more important than a man or woman who is full of purpose and who is committed to fulfilling their purpose and making life beautiful for others.
#9. Make everything an adventure
Make everything an adventure. Have you noticed how when you are having fun with someone you enjoy talking with it becomes an adventure? Some people call it flirting but it is actually you being ‘you’. It is inviting someone you care about into your world so that they see you as you are.
“Intimacy is more of an emotional connection rather than a physical connection,” explains Dr. Krychman, who is a co-author of The Sexual Spark.
Many people get into relationships and never achieve intimacy. Many assume that having sex with another person is the definition of intimacy. It is possible to have sex with someone and have no intimacy.
Psychologists will tell you that the best sex is one with someone who you have intimacy with. Intimacy comes from investment. Commit to being more adventurous with your partner. Commit to building intimacy and feeling safe with your significant other.
#10. Have fun
Enjoy your relationship with your partner. Authenticity is the call. Be open. Be safe. Make the investment of time spent with your significant other. You cannot build this artificially. If you connect with someone, you know it.
Enjoy your relationship even if it does not lead to marriage. Dating time is discovery and yet it should be fun. Take the pressure off but be mindful that you are doing life with someone with feelings. Be gentle with your partner, be honest and yet gentle.
Make dating fun. Do the things that you love doing. Do not pretend because the end product depends on the investment that you make. Spend time in different places to find out the things that you love to do together.
Value yourself. Value your partner. Invest in them. Invest your time and your emotions in them. Enjoy the harvest that comes back to you. Everything you do is a seed. Invest in the kind of relationship that you want to see. You will enjoy the harvest of a well-built relationship.